What is happiness?
To a lupus patient?
Happiness is being able to take in a deep breath without your lungs feeling constricted.
Happiness is being able to eat what you crave for without worrying about any increase of potassium in your blood.
Happiness is being able to partake in Muay Thai without having blue-blacks.
Happiness is being able to do housework without worrying your skin is going to peel off.
Happiness is being able to stand without feeling stiffness in every joints.
Happiness is being able to eat anything without worrying about acid reflux.
Happiness is being able to turn a door knob without feeling any pain.
Happiness is being able to sing without feeling any shortness of air.
Happiness is being able to spend time in the sun without worrying about lupus flare ups.
Happiness is being able to laugh without feeling any piercing pain at the side of the lungs.
Happiness is being able to last a day without medication.
Happiness is being able to open your jaw wide to take a bite off your Double McSpicy.
Happiness is being able to clench your fist tight, instead of seeing your fingers swollen like maggots.
Happiness is being able to study despite knowing your cognitive function may fail you.
Happiness is being able to skip at least 10 times a day, without any heart palpitations.
Happiness is being able to do anything and everything you want to do (because you know you can do it), without lupus in the way.
Happiness is not shunning off the innocent people who just wants to help you.
But sometimes, we don't always get the happiness we seek.
Maybe I will find the happiness some other day. But for now.....
Happiness is being granted your alone time to shed some tear in silence.
Happiness is being able to keep it together and smile in spite of all these challenges.
Happiness is being able to see your loved ones enjoy life and be successful knowing they don't have to suffer like you do.
And the beauty in all those happiness is enough to sustain me in life.
For now.
12:31 AM
