What is happiness?
To a lupus patient?
Happiness is being able to take in a deep breath without your lungs feeling constricted.
Happiness is being able to eat what you crave for without worrying about any increase of potassium in your blood.
Happiness is being able to partake in Muay Thai without having blue-blacks.
Happiness is being able to do housework without worrying your skin is going to peel off.
Happiness is being able to stand without feeling stiffness in every joints.
Happiness is being able to eat anything without worrying about acid reflux.
Happiness is being able to turn a door knob without feeling any pain.
Happiness is being able to sing without feeling any shortness of air.
Happiness is being able to spend time in the sun without worrying about lupus flare ups.
Happiness is being able to laugh without feeling any piercing pain at the side of the lungs.
Happiness is being able to last a day without medication.
Happiness is being able to open your jaw wide to take a bite off your Double McSpicy.
Happiness is being able to clench your fist tight, instead of seeing your fingers swollen like maggots.
Happiness is being able to study despite knowing your cognitive function may fail you.
Happiness is being able to skip at least 10 times a day, without any heart palpitations.
Happiness is being able to do anything and everything you want to do (because you know you can do it), without lupus in the way.
Happiness is not shunning off the innocent people who just wants to help you.
But sometimes, we don't always get the happiness we seek.
Maybe I will find the happiness some other day. But for now.....
Happiness is being granted your alone time to shed some tear in silence.
Happiness is being able to keep it together and smile in spite of all these challenges.
Happiness is being able to see your loved ones enjoy life and be successful knowing they don't have to suffer like you do.
And the beauty in all those happiness is enough to sustain me in life.
For now.
12:31 AM
Freedom. I tasted at long last.
When you set me free - You must.
Since the only one left fighting was me.
Though there's nothing left of me to be happy.
I thank you, for being once dear.
I thank you, for being my saviour.
For one last time.
I pray you'll one day mature.
I pray may you and I both never grow near.
Never again.
One chapter closed, two others had begun.
I don't know where it'll lead me to but I won't run.
Last notes:
I can do it!
Fuck, I'm supposed to be working on my Music Appreciation TMA ._.
#lifewithlupus #ifinallyblogged
11:30 PM
Wow how long has it been?
Since I came here again, looking keen.
Interested to read what I'm gonna update?
First thing's first. Let me set things straight.
You ain't got no friends at work.
They're all just layin' them pitchforks.
Waiting for the time when you give up
Raise them just to see you fall from top.
"What do you mean" you may say.
"Why are you so full of hate?"
But I'm just stating the fact. Hey,
Come here. Let me demonstrate.
==============================
Okay I shall cut it here first. Haha.
No time liao. I shall visit again.
For now, I gotta sleep.
Otherwise, lupus will flare up.
11:25 PM
I know it's childish to be posting things in social media but hey too much seriousness can be a bore in life. Some immaturity will spice up your life.
Besides, moodswing level almost hit max.
To you.....
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
A pussilanimous one, at that!
You lie. You (may) cheat.
You're ignorant.
You're EXTREMELY selfish.
You're incapable of taking in feedback.
If we can't even talk things out,
And my trust for you now falls to almost zero.....
Then tell me.
What's the fucking point?
Wow. I must be really angry to be using profanities.....
Anyway, too tired to think.
I've got a date with my lovely ladies in awhile :)
And as usual....
Waiting for you is like waiting for something that will never happen.
Signing off,
Xxx fauzi xxX
2:47 AM
I. Can. Finally. Gain. Weight.
Like YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
No more complaining of not being able to put on weight.
No more complaining of spending all my money on food.
Now I can budget my expenditure since weight AND money factors come in.
No more complaining of no motivation to exercise and work out (since all my fats are shed in sleep).
Now that I can gain weight, I can feel the drive to keep fit!
Let's get back to marathon form!
I still lose weight in sleep. But it's limited to 2kg hehe.
Alright! Upon clearing my leave, you'll see me frequent the gym.
It'll be my virgin trip to the gym, but it won't be my last.
Be nice to me :)
11:11 PM
I go best by
F A U Z I
Will turn
TWENTY-SEVEN on
30 10 2018
Graduated from SP (DTRM 08/09)
Ex-CVSS & APS student
Nobody's
[X] A new person by 19 June 2011
[X] New job by 2012
[ ] Telescope
[X] Globe
[ ] Scottish Fold
[ ] Turkish Anggora
[ ] Chartreux
[ ] Abbyssinian
[ ] Norwegian Forest
[X] Guitar
[ ] Navy Violin
[ ] Drumset
[ ] Write 11th song
[X] Duet "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift with Alfie
[X] 2015 Travel Plans w Maria and Hakim
[X] 2016 Travel Plans w Maria and Hakim
[X] 2017 Travel Plans w the girls
[ ] Visit Santorini
[ ] Visit Hong Kong
[ ] Visit Turkey
[ ] Visit Italy: Milan and Rome
[X] Visit Japan!
[ ] Visit New Zealand
[ ] Migrate to France
[X] Platinum Blue hair
[X] High cut sneakers
[X] New earrings
[X] Gastronomy tour in Singapore
[X] Attend an anime festival
Right. That's all I can think of.
For now.
